Bragging Rights

     When I first moved up here to Iten's Acres more than half a decade ago . . . "more than half a decade ago" sounds a lot more significant than "a little over five years ago," don't you think?  "More than half a decade ago"--makes me sound like one of the original settlers on the frontier.  Ah, the power of the pen.  Anyway, I digress.  When I first moved up here, the greatest surprise I encountered was that they had real winters in Morrow County.  Who knew that a mere forty to forty-five miles to the north of Columbus would make such a difference?!  But it did.
     I remember living in Worthington and listening to many a weather report predicting six or so inches of snow, and we'd be lucky to get two--usually just a trace.  Not so up here.  I can, also, remember making a fool of myself in the barber shop in Marengo--a little two-stop-sign burg we have up here. (A barber shop?  That's what you would call a salon.  It's a place where they cut your hair--males only.)   It was the first time I had gotten a hair cut in the area, and I was sitting in the chair all smug and hoping to impress the old timers.  A winter storm had been predicted, and I was laughing at the idea that we would actually get much snow--"Oh, the weathermen ( no offense Jennifer Myers) never get it right.  We'll be lucky to get an inch or two," proclaimed the chubby old bald guy in the barber's chair.  They all gave me the oddest looks--even a sneer or two may have reached their bearded lips.  Anyway, when I woke up the next morning and looked out on Iten's Acres, a ton of snow.  I think I let my hair go a little longer that winter--until spring.  I didn't want to show up at the barber shop again too soon just to be immersed in ridicule and shame.
     Thankfully, Dennis rescued me with his little plow (He's been a great neighbor from the very beginning.) or I might not have made it to school for three or four months.  I'm sure Tom would have believed me though, "I'm snowed in."  Yeah, right.  But anyway, the snow storms became my badge of honor--bragging rights.  I'd go into school and find an inch or two, and off-handedly reveal the fifty feet of snow I had to drive through to get to work on time.  (Okay, so I exaggerated--a little.) But what a man!  Enduring such winters!  Surely, that's good for one star in my crown?  I know.  I didn't have to lift a shovel.  Dennis did all the work while I stood there petting Bonnie.  Oh, but I did have to duct tape my mailbox back up every time the snow plows knocked it off.  That's strenuous, right?  The pioneer spirit at work?
     Anyway, a terrible thing has happened this winter.  I think that the snow and ice storms have been worse in Columbus then they've been up here.  Unbelievable!  How could nature do that to me?  My self-esteem is under attack.  No longer can I brag about how horrible my winter is compared to theirs.  I've fallen into second place, and there are only two contestants.  At least, I don't have to drive to school and admit my loss of bragging rights.  Oh, the shame that would be!  And I'm still hoping for one good storm that out does the Columbus folks.  There's still time right?  I can have some hope.  So, wear the crown lightly my city dwelling friends.
     And if nothing happens yet this winter, I'll be ready for a rematch in December.